Hugh Manatee's Last Stand

If you're going to read about the end of the world, you might as well laugh


Meet the Crew


This is a fairly complete list of the characters careening around Hugh Manatee's Last Stand. Get to know these people, avatars, and other assorted critters. You'll want to have these guys firmly in mind as you begin your Hugh Manatee experience.




Hugh Manatee

Our hero. Sharp as a tack and a virtuoso on the nose flute (his jug band, the Obelisk Stompers, plays gigs in the human sector for graduations, weddings, and Bar Mitzvahs).

Hugh's a graduate of the Obelisk Institute of Technology (2105) in Engineering. He's learning the ropes in the Bilge, the subterranean pump station under the Obelisk, responsible for keeping rising seawater from swamping the structure.

Hugh's also something of a vintage film buff, with a particular interest in the early films of Arnold Schwarzeneggar.

Iphigenia ("Iffy") Bunch

Iffy Bunch is our wickedly smart heroine and Hugh's heartthrob. She bears an uncanny resemblance to the Venus de Milo, except that she has long, chestnut hair, full lips, high cheekbones, bright inquisitive eyes, and a lithe body that possesses power, sensuality, and arms. Looks hot, even in her Bilge work overalls.

Iffy's a Katniss wannabe, practicing her slingshot skills in an unfinished room at the bottom of the Obelisk. She's not very good, actually. She also has a pretty severe case of OCD and hypochondria, but manages to get by using her sharp wit and superior intellect. She's somewhat obsessed with the size of her nose, which she's convinced is too big.
Well, it is, just a little.


Miranda Bunch

Iffy's mom. She's single, her husband Lester having "disappeared" unexpectedly, as so often occurs in the Obelisk. She's held in great reverence by the human population for her uncanny medical skills, acquired during her two years working the cash register at a CVS on Level U-5. She has a vast knowledge of potions and elixirs, not to mention a wide assortment of first aid, hair care, and feminine hygiene products she carted out of the store after she was dismissed for napping in a stall in the ladies room.

Zenobia "Zen" Bunch

Iffy's little sister. Nothing unusual here, just the usual passive-aggressive sister stuff. Loves to taunt Iffy with comments about "Heeeuuuuughhh," who Iffy tries to pretend is of no interest to her.

 Art Dweeno

Grade 3 technician in the Bilge. Uncanny ability to solve thorny IT issues. A huge pain in the butt to his supervisor Hiram Flink (see below).

Hiram Flink

Supervisor of the pump unit in the Bilge, though no one is quite sure why. Indecisive, bungling, with a tendency to soil his pants in tough situations.


Gideon Manatee

Hugh's dissolute Dad. He never recovered after his wife Mildred died at the age of forty from a bad batch of Nutreant-X, the only nutrition available to humans in the Obelisk. Gideon lost custody of Hugh after sending the 10-year old boy to school dressed only in men's XL boxer shorts duct-taped to his body, and flip flops.

Hugh seldom sees his father, who is perpetually hammered on 15% proof Kaboom (fermented Nutreant-X).



Maximus Nyl

SIM-Chair of the Imperial Council and big cheese of the SIM-atars. Nyl is a narcissistic, power-hungry, vengeful schmuck with the brains and morals of a dung beetle, and ridiculous hair. I know this character is completely implausible, but you'll have to use your imagination, or today's news.

Karfax Polidor

Chief Operations Officer for the SIM-atar administration. He supervises the Obelisk's IT center on Level B-3 with a remarkable combination of incompetence and arrogance. Widely despised by his subordinates.

Haroon "Hari" Dongle

Lowly Grade-3 technician in the SIM-atar sector. Reports to Karfax Polidor, but eventually becomes Maximus Nyl's hapless assistant. Has a soft spot for humans, a huge liability for any SIM-atar.

Julic Rendor

Demented physicist and rejected contestant from The Bachelorette (season 387). He's the inventor of the Klivors, the dreaded droid assassins that prowl the human sector of the Obelisk, enforcing the oppressive dictates of the SIM-atar rulers. Rendor is a direct descendant of Prince Vlad III of Walachia, Vlad the Impaler (FYI, he didn't get the name because he enjoyed playing darts).


Commander Hyman ("Hy") Jynx

  Head of the NSAA (National Sensory Analysis Agency). No nonsense, with a juggernaut of a body and a steely stare that can melt internal organs, he demands—and gets—complete obedience. Has no use for Maximus Nyl, who he believes (correctly) to be a worthless dork.


Findley Farquhar

One of two half-atars assigned to Hugh as his personal advisors. Being half-human, half SIM-atar, Findley Farquhar is kind of a mess, physically and emotionally. Enthusiastic to a fault, but prone to wildly inappropriate hysterical outbursts.

Minerva Botch

Findley's partner. Minerva is Hugh's fashionista, tasked with making sure he's wearing just the right outfit for his public appearances. Unfortunately, her designer instincts are severely impaired, so she'd think nothing of decking out Hugh with an Eskimo parka, striped leotards from 14th century Venice, and purple crocs. Her eyeballs tend to pop out of their sockets at a moment's notice.