Hugh Manatee's Last Stand

If you're going to read about the end of the world, you might as well laugh

Get to Know Hugh Manatee's SEPTIC Tank

Hugh Manatee's Last Stand peeks into the future of warfare with this contraption from DARPA (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency). Without giving anything away, this vehicle plays a crucial role in the possible survival of Hugh, Iffy, and the gang.

SEPTIC Tank.jpg

In addition to the features displayed above, the interior is amazingly spacious, with a comfortable eat-in-kitchen, en suites in the crew quarters, and a small rec room and spa on the Lido deck.

These are your tax dollars at work!!

The Lay of Hugh's Land

You can't get the full flavor of Hugh Manatee's Last Stand without understanding the topography where the action takes place. Here's a detailed map of the general area with important landmarks. FYI, Hogwarts and Kings Landing have nothing at all to do with this story, but including them offered an opportunity to snag some unwary web surfers.
The references on the map won't make much sense right now, but keep this in map mind as you read on!

HughMap_flat.jpg

GET TO KNOW THE OBELISK!

You'll appreciate Hugh Manatee's Last Stand far better if you understand the Obelisk, the last fully functional structure on the planet (full disclosure — there are unconfirmed reports of a Walgreens still up and running somewhere in Iceland).

The top 10 floors are devoted to administrative affairs (Parks & Recreation, Travel Bureau, Board of Appeals, Board of Even More Appeals, NSAA (National Sensory Analysis Agency), etc.

The rest of the above ground floors are inhabited by SIM-satars, who bought up all the best real estate. They live lavishly, indulging themselves in endless rounds of indoor golf and tennis, mah jongg, canasta, and spa treatments, including aroma therapy, and herbal detox poultices.

Humans are restricted to the subterranean floors. They are assigned the miserable grunt work in the Obelisk—laundry and janitorial services, waste management, keeping the lights on and pipes flowing, and tending the bilge pumps that keep the perpetually rising water table from swamping the entire place.

Hugh is an apprentice engineer in the dank recesses of the Bilge. Iffy works nearby, in the maintenance area. They met on Hugh's first day of his bilge unit rotation. They happened to arrive at a sanitizing basin at the same time, and had an arm wrestling match to see who could get to the spray nozzle first. Isn't love mysterious?

HUGH MANATEE OBELISK COLORING CONTEST!!

YOU can participate in the first Hugh Manatee Coloring Contest! Simply download the printable PDF with this link, get your box of crayons, and let your imagination run wild. When you're done, either scan (in a jpg format) or take a pic of your masterpiece, and email it to andy@hughmanateeslaststand.com. Judges decisions are final! When you make your submission, make sure you include your name and email contact info.

The winner will receive a, 11x14 print of the Hugh Manatee art on this site's "About" page (signed by the artist), suitable for framing of course.

What other dystopian website offers this kind of fun?